Sandy Hook

Sandy Hook

Thursday, December 08, 2011

U.S. Not Only Country with Religious Kooks

The United States has no shortage of religious crackpots on the right side of the political spectrum: Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and in the not too distant past, Christine "The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. You can't masturbate without lust!" O'Donnell. So, should anyone be surprised to hear one of them propose what this unnamed Islamic cleric has allegedly suggested?, which has not been able to verify the veracity of this el-Senousa news, reports that the sheikh warns women to avoid approaching bananas or cucumbers lest they have "sexual thoughts." Further, if women wish to eat these food items, including carrots and zucchini, "a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a (sic) father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve."

The cleric believes these delectably sensuous fruits and veggies "resemble the male penis" and hence could arouse women or "make them think of sex."

Apparently, the story has created a firestorm of irony and denouncement among Muslims online. "One reader said that these religious 'leaders' give Islam 'a bad name' and another commented said that he is a 'retarded' person and he must quite (sic) his post immediately."

Personally, if I were this cleric, I'd avoid being anywhere near a knife wielding woman. She might find more than cute cukes to slice.


  1. I heard the Vatican is another country full of Religious kooks...OH OH and get this! The Ruler is elected for LIFE.... and fully half of the residents can't MARRY ANYONE!

  2. @okjimm: Hah! Good one. I suppose there are religious extremists in every country in the world.

  3. L.P., you should send the link to Rick Santorum. The Republican presidential road show needs some comedy relief since Bachmann's gaffes have worn thin, Cain's out of it and Perry's stand-up routines are lamer than an octogenarian pole vaulter the day after. :)

  4. I wish a cucumber would arouse chicks. I'd never have to cook supper, make the beds, vacuum, load the dishwasher, wash the car, paint the house, shovel snow etc. again.

  5. @SW: Santorum would probably say, "Hey, that's a swell idea!"

    @Joe: Took me a moment there to make the connection. Hah!

    Actually, I had to think about whether or not to put this up so soon after the dinosaur article out of concern that folks might think I'm having flights of fancy.

  6. So should male Muslims be kept away from bagels and donuts? Well, presumably they avoid bagels anyway.

    This is what sexual repression leads to -- obsession with sex to the point of seeing it everywhere, whether it's there or not.

  7. @Infidel: I imagine a lot of them just wish it were everywhere, which might be part of their problem. ; )

    Why American men should boycott American women

    Boycott American Women

    I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

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  9. Har, har, har. Figured we could all use a good laugh this morning.

  10. Well, if you want to know the truth I have always been attracted to Mexican and other Hispanic women.

  11. Rambo, get a life. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but either you set the bar WAY too high for the women you'e met or set your own selection meter WAY too low. If you can't figure out how to have a half-way decent relationship with a woman, you might want to sit out the remainder of this century because the jig is up on the Me-Tarzan/You-Jane model, e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e!

  12. @Paula: Couldn't have said it better myself. Obviously, what this poor fellow wants is a sex slave.

  13. I'm sure this pathetic little man has a reason for not allowing comments on his blog.

  14. well, mostly I am wondering why American Women are boycotting me. Could be my nose. Dunno. In the mean time, I am looking for a good Armenian one.... who appreciates dyslexic guys like me.

    //poor fellow wants is a sex slave.///

    ya, me too! See, I went to the Black Friday Sale, see, and Walmart was out... and Target said they won't restock until after New Years.

  15. @okjimm: Ho, ho, ho. Maybe because Walmart and Target only sell China-made products?

  16. Gee imagine the millions of American women filled with regret about not being able to date John Rambo…

    More for Magpie…!!
    (oops… just kidding with some people on the internet, dear)

  17. @Murr: There's always the gherkin. You can choose pickle or building.

  18. @Magpie: Hah, I'm sure most would like to sweep the floor with his big head. Interestingly, this guy seems to reside in India.