Sandy Hook

Sandy Hook

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Wiseman Threatens Emailer

I've already written here and here about Mayor Russell Wiseman's outrageous claim that President Obama deliberately scheduled his Afghanistan speech to pre-empt the "Peanuts" Christmas show. His comments are making the rounds of the news media. Great publicity for this little town.

A fellow Tennessee blogger, SouthernBeale just posted the mayor's unbelievable email response to Rick Kelly who had written to complain about the harm Wiseman was doing to Tennessee's reputation.

You are an embarrassment to thinking people everywhere, and the fact that your idiocy has been picked up by the Tennesseean and will inevitably end up on the national media might cause the rest of the country, and the world, to think that all Tennesseans are as reprehensible, backwards, and moronic as you.

Wiseman fired back in language that any wise politician would use, ending with threats toward Kelly and his brother.

America is still a free country and every American has the right to free speech. You should know this coming from a family of liberal fuckheads. Anytime that you're ready, you should relocate northward as you're an embarassment to the South. Your sensibilities would be more appreciated there, you sad little single man.

Just take care the next time that you or your brother James pass through Arlington. We'll skin you both alive and use your combined blubber to fuel the oil lamps on our thoroughfares on into the 22nd century.

Now readers should understand why I refer to the state as Ten-uh-see.

Thanks to SouthernBeale for allowing me to quote from her blog. Link there for further enlightenment and be sure to read the comments because Rick Kelly provides more twists to this tale.


  1. Like I tell people who are unfamilar with southern ways:

    "bless your heart" means "F**K YOU"

    and "hon" or "honey" is just a nice way of saying "Bitch" or "Bastard"

    Been a southerner for 24 years and still not southern...

  2. Well, I'm southern but I can't say I'm proud of it. When people ask me where I'm from, I try to evade the answer but they can tell from my accent that it has to be somewhere in the south. Lived in Denver for 30 years and never could get rid of my drawl. Funny, I don't think I have one.

  3. 'Lived in Denver for 30 years and never could get rid of my drawl. Funny, I don't think I have one.'

    I've actually picked one up, and I've only been in TN for about eight years. It's depressing.

    I live in Tennessee, but California is always going to be my 'home.'

  4. I think a Southern USA accent can sound very charming, but that's just me.

  5. 'I think a Southern USA accent can sound very charming, but that's just me.'

    It can. My doctor is originally from Alabama and talks like Scarlett O'Hara. Her accent is /extremely/ 'charming.' Among her other 'charming' qualities. Which are legion.

    However, I live in Northeast Tennessee. The local accent is not quite so charming.

    The local accent is far more 'Deliverance' than 'Gone With The Wind.'

  6. ER: East Texans sound very much like east Tennesseans - or rather the mountain people in TN, KY, NC, WV and VA. A nasal twang, harsh and unpleasant but with a question mark at the end of each sentence, i.e., Ahm gonna arn now? Getting away from the mountainous areas, the accents become soft and "charming." But, as TAO points out, I wouldn't trust one of those "Why bless your heart, honey" for a minute.

    All across the south one sylable words become two.

    Thank y'all for comin'. Y'all come back, ya he'ah?

  7. A friend of ours (my partner and I) with a certain sense of 'self-awareness' about the South has an excellent and accurate description of the proper usage of 'bless their heart.'

    The phrase, when used properly, is used to attempt to make some absolutely horrible/demeaning/insulting comment about a third party sound affectionate or endearing.

    As in:

    'My husband's wife is the biggest whore I ever met and I don't see what he sees in her. I wish he'd kick her to the curb today, bless her heart.'

    So I had warning prior to TAO.

    Not that TAO's way of putting it did not make me smile with dark humor. It did, very much so. :)

  8. That's a good one. I used to know a fabulous joke along this vein but old age prevents me from recalling it!

    One day maybe I'll write a blog in "Southernese." Don't know if I spelled that as it should be.

  9. The midwest has hoards of southern wannabes. Half the dudes with pickup trucks have a confederate flag bumper sticker or topper on them. Bo and Luke Duke are icons. Cousin Daisy will always be thin to them.