Sandy Hook

Sandy Hook

Saturday, July 16, 2011

12 Reasons to Vote Republican in 2012

From The Opinionated Liberal.

1) Because Jesus said "Thou shall give tax cuts to the obscenely wealthy.

2) If you believe the government should stay out of your life! Unless of course, it's at the doctors, at the church, in the bedroom, involves guns, or a woman's body.

3) Because despite the only reference to God in any government documents from the Founding Era is the word "Creator" in the Declaration of Independence, which isn't actually a governing document, we are a Christian Nation founded on Christian principles!

4) Because even though gay marriage wouldn't affect my marriage, it's still wrong! (Look what Jesus said about it! Oh wait...)

5) Because women don't NEED rights, dangit!

6) Because we need to help those who were born able to help themselves!
7) Because rich people need tax breaks more than poor people need food!

8) Because we need to invade countries and outspend the rest of the world combined on defense instead of fixing our schools!

9) Because lower taxes magically increases jobs and increases revenue!*

10) Because lower spending magically increases jobs and increases revenue!*

11) Regulations are for European hippies! God will save the environment! Jesus Jesus Jesus, God, the Bible, guns, Amen.

12) Because science is a global conspiracy. We don't need to ejumacate our kids about no evolution or no global climate change! God will save the environment! Jesus Jesus Jesus, God, the Bible, guns, Amen.

*Giving more guns to everyone would also have the same effect.

NOTE: The Opinionated Liberal is a terrific blog, so if you haven't visited it, make a point of dropping by. 


  1. the farther down I got on the list the higher the BP soared!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! I get so fuckinfurious I can't think straight, I can't sleep, I can't eat (well I can eat!), I hate them, I'm not gonna apologize for it either, I hate them!!

  2. Those are 12 things that republicans believe and hence 12 reasons I will vote Democratic.

  3. Now, that was good, pissy fun! Thank you for the pointer and the Sunday morning giggle. It works so much better when we give this nonsense the disrespectful hilarity it deserves.

  4. I do not fully understand a human creature who would prefer to believe the world is mere thousands of years sold even as he fills his car with fuels that took millions of years to generate. Who turns his back on the scientific and the rational to embrace ideas that do no pass the most elementary proof of clear thinking.
    But if you value anything of peace and civilization you will never cease to be wary of what he is willing to do to you to make his fondest nightmares real.

  5. Wonder if this says anything to those who are threatening to stay home on election day or who are saying they'll vote for a third party. Probably not.

  6. I love this post. And when you are not looking, I'm lifting that last dig, "...Vote Republican".

    BTW, let's hope the "stay at homes" and "third partiers" come to realize that this is exactly what the Republicans want them to do.

  7. I tell anyone who doesn't vote: If you don't vote, you lose the right to complain. And I'll be damned if I'm giving up my right to kvetch!

  8. "It works so much better when we give this nonsense the disrespectful hilarity it deserves."--Nance

    So very true, Nance. I'm going to change my tactics and use withering mockery to answer those who believe the GOP is a party that cares about middle America, or any part of America--except for the very rich and the very powerful.

    Great post, Leslie, and thanks for the tip.

    PS If you want to read hilarity and some very finely crafted mockery, go to Wonkette's blog. When I need a good laugh, I go there as well. Their commenters are hilariously sarcastic.

  9. I kept looking for, Because we don't need no stinkin' reality!

    Otherwise, very well said, LOL. I'll check that blog out.

  10. Good Morning Leslie and Thanx for the link and posting ... I needed my morning laugh and this one done the JOB :)

  11. You forgot to mention that letting a closet-queen dope addict do your thinking for you saves you a lot of time, and headaches.

  12. You know... in Wisconsin some Republicans ran as Democrats just cause they thought it would be funny. Well, gosh, I think I will run for President as a Republican!

    1) I would raise the debt ceiling. A little tile in the Bathroom would be nice too

    2)I would legalize gay marriage. A Happy Boy and a Happy Girl should get married.

    3)We should give Afghanistan back to the Russians

    4) America should save the Wales! I always liked corduroy pants.

    5) Obama is unfit to be President! C'mon... a first Lady named "Michele" ... gees how drool!+

    Listen, I will come up with some more planks for my platform, burt first I need to run to Lowes and get a few for the back steps. Damn, I love politics already! I will win one for the Gopper!

  13. You guys keep me laughing, and damnation, I sure need to laugh today - or I'm going to go bake a custard pie and throw it in the face of some Republican.