Sandy Hook

Sandy Hook

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Roster of Fishy Republicans (Satire)

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days - or so the saying goes. If true, these guests reek to high heaven and need to be tossed out with all the other smelly fish.

The Dumbo Octopus is strange compared to others of its kind as it prefers to swallow its prey whole.

Slow and clumsy. Uses its highly elastic stomach to quickly ingest huge amounts of water and air to turn itself into a ball several times its normal size.

The Viper fish is one of the fiercest predators in the ocean. May use a light producing organ which it flashes on and off to attract its prey while remaining motionless.

Regularly swarms to Hawaii's Leeward shores 9 to 10 days after the full moon. A victim is more likely to die from a box jellyfish sting than a shark attack.

Deadly. Regarded as the most venomous fish in existence. Temporary paralysis, shock and even death may result.

Part of the "Scorpion fish" family, deceptively beautiful and gives off a majestic aura. Don't let its looks fool you. Its attack possesses powerful venom.

Swift and powerful with jutting lower jaws and large mouths with many sharp teeth.


  1. Poor fish to be labeled so, regardless I laughed my ass off and saw the resemblances....

  2. Does John Viper Fish Boehner cry, too? Before or after he zaps you? LOL

  3. Thanks for this.

    I need to laugh at them, so as not to cry, like Tan Man.

  4. I thought you said this post was satire. It all seems pretty true to me.

  5. HAAAAA! I love it! Yep, these stinky Repubs should have been thrown out YEARS ago!

  6. Wow, the McConnell fish even resembles him -- though not as much as the blobfish does.

    And that horrible-looking thing you've got for Boehner looks like it comes from some especially-unpleasant alien planet. Maybe that's what he's really like if you peel off the orange human disguise.

    The teabaggers would be a school of piranha, of course. Once the feeding frenzy gets started they don't much care what they tear apart.

  7. No, no no. Michelle is NOT a cephalopod. She's a Big Mouth Bachmann.


  8. I was going to use Piranha but there seems to be several schools of thoughts as to how dangerous they really are - with the exception of one species. There's been quite a bit of revisionist research in recent years but didn't want to spend a lot of time researching it.

    Well, I was after the dumb in Dumbo. I thought of you when I selected it, however - ; )

  9. Tnlib,
    In a 100,000 years from now, cephalopods will be farm-raising human beings. On a more serious note, although I too write about the above on occasion, i try to pay as little attention to them possible. Their function within the right-wing is to create circus for the purpose of distraction; it is tres difficile to counter propaganda and political dissembling when they suck up so much media attention. To phrase this another way, why focus on the liars when we should be focussing on the lies.

  10. GLENN BLOWFISH BECK is my favorite there.

    I like the liberal gentility of your comparisons here, tnlib... these, after all, are just sea creatures.

    Not Hitler.
    Not the Joker.
    Just the weird things we share the Earth with.


    And I'm a big black and white bird.

  11. And I'm just a little green sprig who likes to laugh occasionally. LOL.

  12. Green sprigs, cephalopods, and magpies ... all of which I approve. We need more converts from the human race. We need more plants, more talking amphibians, more small mammals, more birds with flights of fancy. Most of all, we need more natural predators to keep those overbearing humans in check.

  13. For shame, Leslie!! ;-)

    You are now public enemy #1 on the SPCA's shit list.

  14. Frodo is a fisherperson of some note. He has been a life-long believer in "catch and release," until now. Some fish need to be set aside for the cats hanging around back of the Winn-Dixie.

  15. Very good, LOL, but I take exception to the one for Fox Noise. That should instead be some kind of primitive, low-intelligence bottom feeder.

  16. There's a kind of fish called an "orange roughy". It's actually a harmless-looking little thing, but the name sounds like Boehner to a T.

  17. Love the suggestions from everyone.

    I thought of the orange roughy for Boehner but since we eat it without getting poisoned I opted for something more dangerous.

  18. I just heard "The Lionfish" is trying to have her name trademarked.

    If that happens, will we have to refer to her by a generic symbol (like Prince) to avoid being sued?

    Man, it's getting to be a scary old world!

  19. Guess we'll have to put TM after her name every time we use it. But I have no doubt we can come up with something much more indicative of the real Sarah Palin.

  20. This is hilarious. I needed to laugh at those jokers and you provided the right medium. I think we should all copy it and spread the word. Others need a laugh, too.

  21. Palin's high school basketball nickname, Sarah Barracuda, fits well. I'm having trouble seeing any beauty by now; that VOICE trumps all the mascara in the world.

    A-a-and so much for our kinder, gentler bipartisan approach. Loved it!

  22. LOL, Hugh Lee...the reprobate formerly known as Sarah Palin?

    Very funny post, Tnlib...I enjoyed that! :)

  23. I think "Agent Orange" better befits a defoliant such as John Boehner and it is less insulting to fish.